Insomnia Experiences and Overcoming Sleep Challenges

There are friends dealing with insomnia, sharing some experiences from my past and hoping these might help those who also struggle:

These events happened many years ago. Most details have faded, as if the brain began an automatic protective mechanism to erase painful memories. My main issues are difficulty falling asleep and waking up unable to sleep. Once I fell asleep, that period was perhaps okay.
I’ve checked online before, with academic papers proving that regular, sustained aerobic exercise (preferably not in the hours leading up to bedtime) exposure to natural daylight during the day and avoiding blue light exposure during sleep though my memory of specific terminology may be off, but it mainly refers to devices like screens emitting light have significant benefits for sleep. The first two points are old wives’ tales, as sleep difficulties are common among people who brain-mind workers due to disrupted sleep patterns resembling pre-industrial natural people’s lives. Concerning the last point, I bought a purple light-blocking eyewear three hours before bed and could block almost all screen purple light. If needed, I could take 1mg one hour before bedtime, which has been proven effective. Besides these methods, most online solutions I tried didn’t work for me, such as footbaths or drinking milk. nightly routines that induce anxiety also worsened my condition.

The biggest challenge was overcoming the fear of falling asleep easily. At one point, I often woke up during the night due to vivid nightmares causing physical distress. I engaged in meditation while trying to fall asleep but would wake repeatedly because my mind kept returning to the fear. This process made me lose hope and feel trapped. In those moments, I felt like I was stuck halfway between life and death, unable to do anything except try to focus on getting better sleep. The worst period was when my studies became so stressful that I couldn’t concentrate on work or even study properly.

The only way to overcome this struggle was to accept it as a fundamental failure and surrender control over it. Before, I believed in fully controlling my life and setting strict schedules, but failing to stick to them made me irritable and frustrated. Sleep represented an insurmountable plan disruption. It was a lesson in self-willed resistance: the more I tried to resist sleep, the more difficult it became. The goal of gaining full control over sleep was completely wrong from the start.

As much as sense makes this true, those who haven’t failed deeply cannot fully accept failure and thus can’t fully embrace life’s ups and downs. It took me a few months; some people needed years, while others only weeks to cross that bridge. You shouldn’t fear itits on our side. Things will get better eventually, just like an outbreaks of shingles: you might feel terrible at first, but after recovery, everything will be fine forevermore.

I also shared some temporary methods I tried to overcome my fear of falling asleep.

1. Put your phone out of reach and dont look at it while trying to sleep; the screen light will keep you awake. Also, make sure youre not exposed to any time-related reminders. Knowing how much time remains until dawn or how long you can stay asleep is often worse than actually sleeping.
2. A method I developed on my own: when trying to fall asleep, focus only on one direction of thought . If your mind wanders during sleep, keep it concentrated in that direction and continue thinking until you fall asleep. This seems like the opposite approach of avoiding daydreaming; using something controllable to redirect focus from fear.
3. Write down comforting things or compose yourself by doing something calming. I often copied some peaceful poems when it was hard to relax. These should bring warmth and calmness, dampening the courage to keep trying.
4. Put a cushion under your head for extra support while lying down. I have a soft rabbit throw pillow that provided me with comfort during difficult times.
5. If you cant fall asleep easily, call someone you trustyou know it wont get better by itself anyway. My mom used to call me every night just to reassure me she loved me and not to worry about my conditionwords I knew wouldnt help at allbut they gave me peace of mind.
6. Do some deep breathing exercises. This requires courage, but if you mess it up, you might ruin everything. Long ago, I realized that trying to control sleep only made it harder.

These are more about overcoming fear than improving sleep quality. If you’re in a similar situation and feel alone, know the struggle is temporary and time will help.